Friday, May 1, 2009

You're Welcome, Star Trek Movie Reviewers

(hattip Ami)

As of today, Metacritic has a perfect score of 100 for JJ Abrams' upcoming "Star Trek." It's based off two reviews from The Hollywood Reporter and Variety:
"Paced at warp speed with spectacular action sequences rendered brilliantly and with a cast so expert that all the familiar characters are instantly identifiable."
- The Hollywood Reporter

"Blasting onto the screen at warp speed and remaining there for two hours, the new and improved Star Trek will transport fans to sci-fi nirvana."
- Variety
Oof, they both went the "warp speed" route. Tough Break. Hey- it's tough out there for a movie critic. Being original is HARD.

So, with Star Trek coming out in only one week, I am going to give a list of brilliantly original, totally unforced, completely hilarious, non-warp speed, Star Trek references that critics should definitely use in their creative reviews:
  • This film boldly goes where no Star Trek has gone before
  • Star Trek beams you up!
  • Star Trek not only lives long, but it prospers!
  • If I had to use one word to describe Star Trek, it would be "Fascinating!"
  • There is a lot of intelligent life up on the screen!
  • Dammit Jim, he's a doctor, not a heart throb
  • Star Trek is not logical, but it's a great watch!
  • It's illogical how much fun this movie is
  • Star Trek will engage you
  • Your torpedoes will be "up"
  • Resisting Star Trek is futile
  • Star Trek has not yet reached its Final Frontier
  • With the latest in the series, Star Trek is not dead, Jim
I am sure if you use any of these, you will be the only one.

Feel free to leave other suggestions for extremely clever potential lines in the comments.

1 comment:

  1. How about:

    "This movie has its Phasers (sp?) set to "STUN"