Roger Ebert, Bob Mondello, Tom Charity, Carrie Rickey, Peter Travers, and Claudia Puig Follow My Star Trek Advice

So that not every reviewer would need to use a "warp speed" pun, a week ago, I gave this list of completely unique puns for Star Trek reviewers to use:

• This film boldly goes where no Star Trek has gone before
• Star Trek beams you up!
• Star Trek not only lives long, but it prospers!
• If I had to use one word to describe Star Trek, it would be "Fascinating!"
• There is a lot of intelligent life up on the screen!
• Dammit Jim, he's a doctor, not a heart throb
• Star Trek is not logical, but it's a great watch!
• It's illogical how much fun this movie is
  
• Star Trek will engage you
• Your torpedoes will be "up"
• Resisting Star Trek is futile
• Star Trek has not yet reached its Final Frontier
• With the latest in the series, Star Trek is not dead, Jim
• This movie has its Phasers set to "STUN" (added by favorite commenter, CherryLimeRickey)
  

These are all completely hilarious, and worthy of someone who is paid to review movies professionally. Well, some reviewers lived up to the standards of professionalism and used some of these puns I suggested:

Roger Ebert (Chicago Sun Times) -
MINE: This film boldly goes where no Star Trek has gone before.
HIS: Like so many franchises, it’s more concerned with repeating a successful formula than going boldly where no “Star Trek” has gone before.

Bob Mondello (NPR) THREE TIMES-
MINE: This film boldly goes where no Star Trek has gone before.
HIS: You'd think... there'd be few places in the universe a Federation starship could still "boldly go where no one has gone before."

CLR's: This movie has its Phasers set to "STUN"
HIS: In short, to set phasers on stun with a killer opening sequence

And a "warp speed" pun. Again.
HIS: it's hard to imagine anyone caring much why we're plunging ahead at warp speed, when the ride is so insanely satisfying.

Tom Charity (CNN) DUAL APPEARANCE-
MINE: Star Trek not only lives long, but it prospers!
HIS: May his work live long and prosper.

And a "warp speed" pun. Again.
HIS: This exhilarating blockbuster gets under way at warp speed.

Carrie Rickey (Philadelphia Inquirer) THRICE-

MINE: Dammit Jim, he's a doctor, not a heart throb
HERS: To paraphrase McCoy, I'm a movie critic, Jim, not a physicist.

CLR's: This movie has its Phasers set to "STUN"
HERS: Abrams has the Enterprise crew set phasers to stun

This "warp speed" one doesn't even make sense:
‘Star Trek’ prequel a warp-speed success

Peter Travers (Rolling Stone) -
MINE: This film boldly goes where no Star Trek has gone before
HIS: still boldly go where no man, William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy included, has gone before

Yup, warp speed again:
Summer officially hits warp speed with Star Trek

Claudia Puig (USA Today)
MINE: Resisting Star Trek is futile
HERS: Resistance is futile

MINE: This film boldly goes where no Star Trek has gone before
HERS: it boldly goes a long way where previous Star Treks haven't gone before

To those who used a cheap, played out, canned "warp speed" pun - shame on you! To the rest of you who used the new, brilliant, creative puns that I came up with in under a minute, kudos! Good work! Way to be "out of the box" and creative.