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In truth, I would sort of love for the rest of the sports news to be written anthropopathically:
- Quickens Loan Arena Distraught over Cavaliers 1 Point Loss; Blames Itself
- Yankee Stadium Insulted by "Easy to Hit Homeruns" Talk
- Jailhouse Feels Less "Rapey" Without Michael Vick
But why stop with sports news?
- Guantanamo Bay Fearful of Terrorists; Wants America to Imprison Them
- Craigslist Strangely Aroused by Prostitution Ring
- Waterboard Tortured by Weight of Detainees
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