What Did We Give the North Koreans?

As I am sure you have heard by now, President Clinton traveled to North Korea yesterday to accept upon release two US journalists being held as prisoners:

"Thirty hours ago, Euna Lee and I were prisoners in North Korea," Ms. Ling said in brief remarks to reporters, blinking back tears. "We feared that at any moment we could be prisoners in a hard labor camp. Then suddenly we were told that we were going to a meeting. We were taken to a location and when we walked through the doors, we saw standing before us President Bill Clinton."

Incredible. Breathtaking.

But some people only want to know... What did we give the North Koreans in return? Was it nuclear secrets? Money? Legitimacy? Did we agree to turn a blond eye to illegalities?

Nope. But I have found out.

Without further ado, here is the list of things we gave North Korea in return for Ms. Lee and Ms. Ling:

• Mississippi
• Lindsay Lohan
• Dane Cook
• Maxim magazine
• Stuff White People Like blog
• Rob Riggle
• the word "FAIL"
• Rick Reilly
• Emoticons

and

• Paula Abdul

There's a reason she isn't coming back to American Idol.

Kim... I think your nuclear program is really good... I like it... You have a definite persona to you... your glasses are really cool and I love what you have going on with your suit... I think I'd work on your pitch when you sing... but you definitely have a future as a dictator...