Wednesday, August 5, 2009

How Many Poles Does it take to Turn a Subway into a Strip Club?

(Hat Tip Fraterus Bloggus Amir for 98% of this.)

One! One that girls can dance on while you eat meat:
He opened "Cousin Vinny's Way," which, according to his flyer, promised $5 foot-long subs, a free fountain drink and "six hours of nonstop, hard-core, live action from some of the most beautiful young ladies who have ever chosen to take their clothes off in public."
And Conan did a "Jared" joke in response in his monologue. (Why did I put quotes around that like it's some sort of variant of joke, like there are knock knock jokes and Jared jokes?) But Fraterus Bloggus Amir and I think we can do better.

Which means it's time for another... Great Punch Line Off 2009! Me vs. Me vs. You. See you in the comments.
  • It's great. You can get a $5 foot long to go with your 5$ foot long.
  • It's $5 for a Subway but $50 for a "Rubway."
  • They also changed their cup sized from small, medium, and large to B, C, and D.
  • A lot has changed in the store, but he's keeping the slogan.
  • One piece of advice - Careful when you order the meatballs.
  • No matter what a stripper tells you, there's no sex in the freezer room.


  1. - Genius idea. And to think, Hooters was so close...
    - Who are the people on the fence that the free fountain drink is attracting?
    - I hate to think what those fine ladies will look like 6 months from now.
    - I imagine there are strip clubs with a wider menu.
    - One piece of advice - don't play 'steal the salami.'
    - Garlic bread is a quarter, but you can only stay for 3 minutes.

  2. For self-deprecating male strippers:

    "You heard of the $5 foot long? Well, I'll give you six inches for a quarter."

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