Monday, August 24, 2009

10 Mets Predictions for the Rest of 2009

Two days ago, you would have said that the Mets season was a debacle. Then yesterday, they lost a game on an unassisted triple play, the first time that has happened since 1927. Today, they've added injury to insult as they announced that Jeff Francoeur tore a ligament in his thumb, and that they were sending Johan Santana to be examined by a doctor, leaving only Frankie Rodriguez as the only actual major leaguer left on the team.

What else could possibly go wrong with the Mets? That's where Kevin Tor and I come in. As devout Mets fans and comedians, we decided to each come up with a list of 10 predictions for stories - and the corresponding New York Post headlines- we expect to see before season's end. Read below for my list and then head over to Tor's Take for Kevin's.

10) "On a Razor's Edge" - Angel Pagan is thrown out at home plate when Razor Shines delays the signal to send him. He later blames a slow internet connection for not receiving the go ahead from "Razor Shines - Aquafina 3rd Base Coach of Life."

9) "Generation L" - The post-game DynaMets Dash leaves 13 children with torn ACL's. Jerry Manuel says they weren't mentally tough enough.

8) "Toxic As-Mets" - The Wilpons invest their ownership stake in the New York Mets with Charles Ponzi.

7) "Sh*tty Field" - Citi Field is forced to relinquish its name in bankruptcy. George Steinbrenner buys the naming rights and calls it "Not Yankee Stadium"

6) "Doesn't Ring a Bell" - On a foul ball, Cowbell Man breaks his tolling hand. The Mets rush him back three days later. He will now be out through 2011.

5) "Mets Make a Deal!" - The Mets release Oliver Perez, reacquire Scott Kazmir, then trade Kazmir to the Free Agents for Perez.

4) "Tony So-pants-o" - The Mets rehire Tony Bernazard who removes his pants before challenging Adam Rubin to a fight.

3) "See No Feeble" - Tickets for seats down the lines become harder to buy as Mets fans start to clamor for seats where at least some of the field is obstructed.

2) "Home Run Poor-ch" - Pepsi, not wanting to have its name associated with the Mets, have sold the rights to the "ShopRite Brand Cola Porch"

1) "A-dam Good Catcher?" - Adam Rubin blogs about Brian Schneider's offensive struggles. Omar Minaya accuses him of lobbying for the Mets starting catcher position.

And don't forget to check out Kevin's Top Ten at Tor's Take.

(thanks to Amicuses Bloggus BiMus, Amir, and EB for the help.)

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