"I've been thinking about getting my eyes checked -- for real," Ortiz told The Associated Press. "My vision has always been 20-20, and I'm not feeling anything crazy, but I'm going to get it checked out... We get our eyes checked every year... I'm 20-20. Go and check it out. It's not anything big. I will, though. I seriously will."It's not that crazy though. I am sure many of you remember the case of Ricky Vaughn, whose eyesight affected his performance:
Vaughn , and the Indians, were much better after he got glasses.
So could it happen for the Red Sox? Sure. But I would recommend following the rest of the prescription from "Major League" just to be sure. So here are the other things that the Red Sox should do:
- Worship Joe Boo
- Jason Varitek should threaten Mike Lowell to "cut (his) nuts off and stuff 'em down his fuckin' throat."
- Varitek should drive the bullpen car to hook up with that librarian he's always loved.
- Get a life size cut out of a naked Larry Lucchino and rip off one piece of clothing per victory.
- Have a fun to watch winning streak montage that ends with them in a first place tie.
- Jonathan Paplebon should sleep with Mike Lowell's wife.
- Beat the Yankees on a bunt single that scores a run from second base.