Bruce Springsteen Jizzed in His Pants

And no, despite his offering America every chance to get a good look...


I don't have any visual evidence from the Super Bowl.

But we do have audio evidence from one track off his new album: "Queen of the Supermarket."

Check out the lyrics if you need them.

Sound familiar? That's because you just heard this IDENTICAL STORY IN SONG FORM, though last time it was sung by The Lonely Island guys on SNL.



Most blatant? The familiar ending, each in his own words.
Lonely Island- She turned to me that’s when she said it/Looked me dead in the face, asked “Cash or Credit?”/And I JIZZED IN MY PANTS
Bruce Springsteen- Take my place in the check-out line /For one moment her eyes meet mine/ I'm lifted up, lifted up, lifted up, lifted up

You're "lifted up, lifted up, lifted up, lifted up," huh, Bruce? I think we got your meaning. Even Michael Scott knows that's what she said.

Seems like The Boss isn't in control of everything. I think we're going to need Justin Timberlake on cleanup in aisle 3.