Monday, December 15, 2008

From the Shoe Bomber to the Shoe Thrower; It's Been Quite a Ride

These are my thoughts on the Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush

  • Seriously, who throws a shoe? (yes, it's already been done. Have to love the internet)
  • If I am Bush, that scares me a lot. Anyone crazy enough to shoe throw, really wants to throw bullets. From a gun.
  • In In the Line of Fire, John Malkovich tries to shoot the president with a wooden gun. Why don't we see more guns that aren't picked up by metal detectors? (There must be a simple physics reason. Anyone know?)
  • I am a little impressed with Bush's ducking skills. I might consider him for my dodgeball squad. If you can dodge a shoe, you can dodge a ball!
  • Dear Iraqi Journalist, You just can't miss there. Signed, People Who Don't Have the Courage/Desire to Throw Shoes.
  • This reminds me a lot of one particular Calvin and Hobbes strip. Calvin saves up a snowball from winter to throw at Suzie in Spring, creeps up behind her and throws it from point blank range, only he misses. As he is cursing at himself for missing, Suzie collects the snow and nails Calvin with the snowball. My point? The right play there is for Bush to get the shoe and throw it back at him.
  • Horrific preparation by the journalist there. Rewatch that video. He goes down to take his second shoe off and then throw it at Bush. If you are planning to throw two shoes at someone, you take them both off and have them both handy. In fact, you pull an old trick. You float the first one up. Then, when Bush is looking up, you bomb the second one in, nailing him. This is basic throwing-stuff-at-people strategy.
  • Am I the only one a little disappointed with the secret service here? There is no reason this guy should have been able to reload and sling a second shoe. One? what can you do. That is why it is good that Bush has cat-like reflexes. The second.... no excuse. You take the guy down with a shoe horn or one of those feet measuring things they have in shoe stores. Something.
  • Btw- Did Bush handle this better than anything else in his presidency? "Bush later joked on the incident saying "all I can report is a size ten". That's a great line. Kudos.
  • Most pressing remaining question: Will the Daily Show make the "Dodging the Is-shoes" joke? Feels like a potential correspondent piece.
John Oliver: "Bush is prepared for this... Iraq... Katrina..."
Jon Stewart: "What does that have to do with anything?"
John Oliver: "This is just the latest is-shoe Bush has dodged"

That's it.

Now for bad puns
Bush finally got in touch with the sole of the Iraqi people... I wonder if there was a second shoe-ter... The iraqi people are finally heel-ed... The journalist was just trying to be tongue in cheek...


  1. I wanted to use shoes, but had to settle for bullets:

    * Let's start with the guy who posted the video. This the ULTIMATE insult? Really? Is 2nd Place a Yo' Mamma joke involving a scale?
    * Everyone assumes that this shoe-ing was because the guy was so overcome by rage at President Bush. Maybe throwing shoes is this guy's thing. Let's just say I wouldn't be surprised if scores of unsolved shoe-throwing cases in Iraq are brought to a successful close in the coming weeks.
    * Extremists are up in arms over the missed attempt and angry at the reporter for missing. Preliminary reports from the holding cell indicate he is insisting the laces were up.
    * I wonder if that shoe's make and model will all of a sudden become really popular among Muslim extremists. Before you know it, everyone's wearing Air Jihads.
    * Did this guy practice? I think this is a question with important legal ramifications. He might plead temporary insanity, having been overcome with rage and fury at President Bush. But a close look at his form (not to mention his well crafted speech) might refute this claim. I just don't know that a novice would have known to spin that shoe like a ninja star.
    * There are millions of shoeless people in Africa, and he's throwing perfectly good shoes at the President?
    * I expect someone to send me an invitation to a Lunch and Learn titled "Shoe-Throwing and the Laws of Ḥalitẓah"
    * My Bad Pun Headline to go with the pic: "No Lame Duck"

    That's my two cents worth (Not You, Two Penny Loafers).

  2. I would also like to point out that I think "No Lame Duck" is a triple entendre:
    1. As in Lame Duck President
    2. As in a sitting target.
    3. His actual physical duck was pretty good.