ESPN's Headlines Designed to Minimize Clickthrus

Did I say "make you want to read the story"-? I meant "are the whole story."

From my Google Reader, right now. Click to enlarge:


Ah, but what else is this story about? For those details, you'll have to read the whole article.

Or just read the headline again.

I Figured Out Where the Suns Went Wrong

And the answer came straight to me, vis RSS feed:

It's a good approach - getting "basketball value" in trades. It's so good in fact, that the average fan probably would have thought to do this all along. And that's the difference between fans and General Managers. General Managers are smart enough to figure this stuff out.

So to all the opposing teams who were offering the snacks their mom gave them, their place in line, baseball cards, or letting the Suns "be your best friend" for Shaq, well-they can just forget it. They're taking basketball value only now.

CNN Can't Keep Up with All the Lingo the Kids are Using Nowadays

A gloriously confusing lede from CNN:

She was "shaky" because she "breezed through to the finals."

Can't you just picture the CNN headline writer? You know... shaky - as in "steady." Like the kids say it - the way bad means good and sick means healthy?

Sadly, Urban Dictionary (the place you go to find out the was real kidz speak) does not have CNN's back:

Shaky - Not definite, risky, not very skillful
Example - Erika's skills at driving are kinda shaky after she kills mad beers at Nadine's house.

Turns out that "shaky" just means "shaky."

I also think it's cool that Urban Dictionary got a dad from a Hillary Duff movie to write the example for them.

CNN's mistake. Like the kids say, "my bad." No biggie. LOL :-)

Oh, Man. The Pepsi Center Really Wanted to See John Cena Take on The Big Show

Here are tonight's top headlines from espn.com. Take a look at highlighted number 7:
"Pepsi Center Stunned as WWE Raw Goes to L.A." As Brother of the Blog Amir asks, who writes like that?

In truth, I would sort of love for the rest of the sports news to be written anthropopathically:

• Quickens Loan Arena Distraught over Cavaliers 1 Point Loss; Blames Itself
• Yankee Stadium Insulted by "Easy to Hit Homeruns" Talk
• Jailhouse Feels Less "Rapey" Without Michael Vick

But why stop with sports news?

• Guantanamo Bay Fearful of Terrorists; Wants America to Imprison Them
• Craigslist Strangely Aroused by Prostitution Ring
• Waterboard Tortured by Weight of Detainees

Nice. Internet Amused by Mocking of ESPN's Headline